Lessons from a "No"

We have been trying to move one town over for a few years now. We were renting over there before we were married and ignoring the advice from a good friend we left and have been trying to get back ever since. Every time we have tried the answer has been, "No." The door has been shut. Sometimes it was shut very quickly and abruptly, this time it took a little longer for the door to be closed, but it has been closed. Although I am disappointed, the days following the discovery of the closed door led to growing opportunities.

I decided to read about waiting in the bible, because I feel like I have been waiting. Waiting for the door to remain open so we can walk through it, waiting for the answer to be "yes," waiting for what's better the next town over. Lots of waiting, and I wanted to see how others have dealt with waiting. Through my reading and going over some notes from my study of Isaiah over the past 9 months I discovered I am waiting for the wrong things. I shouldn't be waiting for life here to be my happily ever after, because it's not, there is something beyond our comprehension in store for me after this life. There is a house being built for me by the King of Kings and that house will never need a new roof or the chimney cleaned. My focus has been off and I am hoping that this reminder will shift my focus back in place and back on waiting for Him.

The other insight I gained from this particular "No" is that I need to be thoughtful, intentional and gentle with my children when I tell them, "No," which does happen on occasion these days. I know how excited I was about the possibility of moving and I can only imagine how excited Lily is when she asks for certain things and more often than not it doesn't happen at the most convenient time and I offer and abrupt "no" with no explanation or comfort. What results is a break down on her part and frustration and anger on mine. Definitely a bad combination. I found that the week leading up to God closing this door I started talking to people about how I need to hold the new house in a very open hand. Not something I had been saying during the last 2 months, but the Spirit was prompting me to say it aloud so it might better sink into my own head and heart. I feel that this prepared me for when Jason said, "That was the call." I knew what he meant. I could tell by his tone and the look on his face. I didn't throw a fit or breakdown. I didn't get angry at God. I simply sighed and trusted that He knows way better than we do regarding what is best for us right now. So, I need to work on speaking more gently to my children. I appreciated how God prepared me for the answer we did not want and I want to walk away from this situation in a better place than I was one week ago.
So until another door opens I hope to sit in His lap behind this closed door and focus on my relationship with Him, much like my children sit on my lap when they need to be comforted.